The randomness of the world!
by bristlefur
Summary: Firestar is insane, Sandstorm is over reactive, and Cloudtail is extremely bored. What will these cats do to save themselves? I hope you like my second attempt at humor. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**I probably should be doing the responsible thing and updating my other stories… but I'm not sure I want to. I want to fulfill my dream of writing a totally awesome random story and including all the cats we know and love. Enjoy! (does the Egyptian walk and chants 'I rule! I rule!' over and over again) **

"FIRESTAR!!!" The shrill voice of Sandstorm woke the ThunderClan leader. He screamed back, "I'M SLEEPING KEEP IT DOWN!" He got out of bed.

Sandstorm appeared at the cave entrance saying, "I found Cloudtail trying to set fire to Dustpelt with a magnifying glass." Before Firestar could answer, Dustpelt ran screaming out of the warriors den with his pelt set on fire. Cloudtail ran after him, laughing so hard he coughed up Squirrelflight's math book, which she was supposed to be doing a year ago, when she was an apprentice.

Firestar sighed. "This place could use a change. I know! I'll build a casino so we can gamble!" he rushed to his den and got out 500 planks of wood which he retrieved from his imagination. "Cool! I can make things happen with me imagination!" He imagined that he had a chocolate shake, a TV in his bed room, 5 million dollars, and a private yacht set at the lake. Nothing happened. "WHAT GIVES!" he screamed, waking up every cat within a ten mile radius.

*************************************************

Meanwhile, Squirrelflight was at the mall shopping for clothes. She had Whitetail, Sorreltail, Leafpool, and Feathertail with her. All of a sudden, a loud boom occurred. "What the?" spluttered Squirrelflight. Then she sighed. 'What has Firestar done now?"

Back at the ThunderClan camp, Firestar had imagined he built the casino, and it happened. He rushed inside, every cat following him. He slapped 38 moles, 63 chaffinches, and 34 thrushes on the table of the wheel of chance. "SPIN THE WHEEL!" he screamed. The surprised cat muttered, "But sir, I don't know your bet." Firestar stomped his foot. "I KNEW THAT! PUT ME ON RED!" the poor cat running the wheel spent a whole day spinning the wheel, while Firestar screamed his bets and hit him with the items he bet.

**Well that's it. Sweet, isn't it? In case any of you were wondering, the only reason Firestar stopped his bets was because he fell asleep. And he lost most of his bets. Well, I hope you all don't hate me for not updating my other stories and starting another one instead. See ya! **


	2. Chapter 2

**That button at the bottom of the page is getting lonely. So, press it and review! I don't care whether it's good or bad; just review! And no flames! **

Firestar was drinking coffee in his den until Sandstorm burst inside. Firestar groaned. Now what? "Your casino is on fire!" She cried. Firestar snapped up, supercharged by the coffee. He tried to use his imagination, until a thought occurred to him. He dashed outside, and shot spitballs at the fire. For some odd reason, it went out. "YES! I AM THE RULER OF ALL!"

Squirrelflight woke up, and padded out in a good mood until she saw her math book on the floor. She gasped and buried it, so that no one would ever see it again. Firestar was dancing around looking happy for himself, so naturally she disturbed him.

"Coffee again?" she asked sweetly. Firestar gasped, clutched his side, and drank more coffee. Soon he felt like he could actually jump off the highledge. HOORAAYY!!" He leaped off the highledge, giggling with glee as he did it. He landed on Dustpelt, who had just gotten his pelt defired (A/N I know that's not a word) and was set on fire again, for an even odder reason then when the casino fire was put out. He screamed again, and raced out of camp to swim in the river. Firestar raced around the camp; exited by the amount of coffee he was given, A.K.A stolen from Cloudtail's cooking shelf. Cloudtail himself padded out of the warrior's den, just as an evil thought occurred to him. He dashed inside Firestar's den.

As Firestar calmed down he drank more coffee, and then whipped out his cell phone and called some random kittypet. "Hello! How is your day going? Good! Do you like Christmas? You do?! ME TOO!" and hung up. Meanwhile, Astro the kittypet was standing confused, staring at his phone, wondering who called him.

Cloudtail set fire (because that's what he did best) too all of Firestar's spice jars. After he escaped, he heard a loud boom and watched Firestar dash inside too see what happened. Firestar burst into tears as soon as he saw his catnip jar had exploded. Cloudtail ran away, laughing wickedly.

**I hope that was good. NO FLAMES! I DON'T LIKE FLAMES!!! Enjoy your evening/morning/afternoon. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hooray! My next chapter! (crickets chirp) hmm… well, anyways, I suppose you don't want me to talk more. But I will! Anyone who gives me new ideas for my next chapter get Firestar plushies! So read and review! **

"Firestar!" some random cat ran across the clearing towards Firestar's den. Firestar looked up from where he was reading a magazine on how to impress your wife.

"Yes?" he asked.

"I have Squirrelflight held hostage and-."

"Yawn. Cut to the chase."

"I also have Sandstorm-."

"Uh hu. You're wasting my daylight."

"And I also have your teddy bear in captivity."

"NOOOOOOO!!!"

"If you want to see them again, you have to pay me $5,000,000."

The random cat walked away. Firestar immediately tried to free his teddy bear.

"Graystripe! You have to loan me some money!" Graystripe looked up from where he was tanning next to Highledge. "Why?"

"A madman has imprisoned my teddy and I have to pay him $5,000,000 to free him!"

Graystripe gave him $5.

"But… he asked for 5 million dollars!"

Graystripe drew a bunch of zeros after the 5 on the dollar bill.

"Graystripe! You're a genius!"

Graystripe nodded and went back to tanning.

Firestar ran to where he thought the random cat went.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lionpaw slouched against the wall where he was keeping Sandstorm and Squirrelflight- and of course, Firestar's teddy. The wall flipped over and he found himself in the secret chamber. He started playing a video game and laughed as he manipulated someone to jump off a cliff. No one except Lionpaw knew what the game was. After he ended the game, he pulled a hood over his head and put on his super scary robes. It was time to trap Firestar. His plan was falling into place.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lionpaw's super scary plan:

First, he would lure Firestar to his secret hide out and trap him.

Next, he would turn Firestar over to Blackstar and gain power and prestige in Shadowclan.

Then, he would kill Blackstar and take over Shadowclan.

After that, he would attack Thunderclan and then, in the middle of the battle, he would betray Shadowclan (he still needed to work the kinks of this part but he would figure it out) and take over BOTH clans.

Still after, he would… well… the plan got kind of shady there, but he was thinking along the lines of attacking Riverclan and Windclan and taking those over.

It was a brilliantly well thought out plan that would surely succeed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Firestar found a small, chocolate covered mouse next to Lionpaw's evil den and bit down into it. (he still hadn't mastered suspicion.) A cage fell down onto him and he was trapped. Lionpaw walked out in his super scary robes and hood and picked up the cage and put it as far away as he could from Firestar's teddy. "NOOOO!!!" Firestar screamed. Since Lionpaw no longer needed Sandstorm and Squirrelflight, he let them go. INTO HIS SUPER SCARY HIGH SECURITY DUNGEON!!! He couldn't take the risk of them telling the world where he was. However, he liked the teddy. It was soft.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Graystripe stopped tanning and walked out of camp to ask Firestar if he could have his money back. He stumbled onto Lionpaw's evil den. After walking around for a little bit, he found himself in Lionpaw's high security super scary dungeon. The door shut and locked, and a bunch of security cameras came on. Now there was no one to help them. THEY WERE TRAPPED! Who can save us now?

**Well, that was my chapter. Can't wait for the bad reviews, lol! Whoever reviews gets a plushie! Good reviews get Firestar plushies, flames get Lionpaw plushies, and critiques get Graystripe plushies.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yay, I've finally updated! And, well, Jayfeather here is going to introduce us. **

**Jayfeather: Bristlefur does not own Warriors, or, well, anything except for the plot and characters. **

**Me: Actually, not even the characters. *sigh* and the plot isn't really a plot, just a random thing. So, sadly, I own nothing. **

**Jayfeather: He owns nothing. **

**Me: I own nothing. However, you can still enjoy the story. **

**Jayfeather: READ! **

**Tigerstar: AND! **

**Lionblaze: REVIEW! **

Lionpaw, after seizing at least 20 new victims, settled down for lunch. Firestar wailed after trying- and failing- to reach his teddy bear again. Lionpaw almost felt sorry for him, but he didn't, so he ordered his guards to slap him again. A slap is heard in the background and Firestar whimpered. The slapping sound got louder, and Lionpaw ordered his guards to stop. "We aren't doing it," they said. Lionpaw frowned and got up to investigate. When he reached the room, he gasped and saw what the problem was.

A gigantic monster was climbing out of a crack in the ground. Its tentacles wrapped around a helpless victim- but that was just on the television. What he did see was a lake; a lake that was climbing fast, its waves slapping on the shore. The lake rose 15 more feet, and Lionpaw backpedalled and ran through the living room. He tripped, and he fell on the button that said, _release all prisoners_. He swore and wondered why he made a _release all prisoners_ button in the first place.

The doors on the cages dropped open, and everyone climbed out and ran for their lives. Lionpaw was trampled into the dirt. He swore again, and got up. All of a sudden, he saw Firestar going back and grabbing his teddy bear. Lionpaw tried to run for him, but Firestar tazed him and ran. Lionpaw lay on the ground, his muscles clenching and the water level rapidly rising. He tried to scramble for the exit, but his muscles protested and left him on the ground in pain. When the water arrived, it carried him out and he was swept up into a river that burst straight into the WindClan camp. Cats screeched and ran for their lives, and the water subsided over the moor, creating an 8th ocean that stretched from there to all throughout Europe. Amazingly, all the clans (except WindClan) were unharmed.

Lionpaw was at first mistaken for a piece of sod, but he was quickly recognized and taken back to the ThunderClan camp. He was grounded by Squirrelflight **(I know she's not his real mother)** and sent to his room for a month. Firestar thought it was pretty cool.

The new ocean made Onestar stressful, so he decided to do something about it. He grabbed his straw and tried to drink the whole thing, but he started coughing after the first few sips.

They all lived happily ever after… except for what I'm going to do in future chapters.

**Well, it looks like the new ocean's place is secure, and Lionpaw is defeated. What will happen next? We'll find out!**


End file.
